Take Care of Yourself Suppose you were to come upon someone in the woods
working feverishly to saw down a tree.
"What are you doing?" you ask.
"Can't you see?" comes the reply. "I'm sawing down this tree."
"You look exhausted!" you exclaim. "How long have you been at it?"
"Over five hours," he returns, "and I'm beat!"
"Well, why don't you take a break for a few minutes and sharpen the saw?" you inquire.
"I don't have time," the man says emphatically. "I'm too busy sawing!"
(7 Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen Covey)
The single most important investment we can ever make is the investment in ourselves. As Covey notes in his moral to the fable above, "We are the instruments of our own performance, and to be effective, we need to recognize the importance of taking time regularly to sharpen the saw" (p. 289). Christ's disciples are called to live an "alternative" life-style, however. And while they agree with the importance of self-care - what Covey calls "sharpening the saw" - they have a different perspective on the motive, means, and end of that "investment" than others, even though they use some of the same terms.
"You are the salt of the earth . . . the light of the world" (Matt. 5:13-16).
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices" (Rom. 12:1).
"Jesus Christ has laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers" (1 Jn. 3:16).
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus refers to disciples as "salt" and "light." Both terms describe something good. However, as Robert C. Roberts has observed in Psychology and Christianity, "The salt is good, not for the salt but for those who are eating. The light is good, not for the light but for those who are making their way through the world." According to Jesus "personal or psychic well-being is never privately for the person in whom it resides. To be makarios [The word translated "blessed"] is to possess a kind of well-being whose 'wellness' belongs to others whom one affects, as well as to oneself" (IVP, p. 165).
For Christ's disciples, in short, the proper motive for self-care is not self-centered. As J. Oswald Sanders has correctly pointed out: "All Christians are under obligation to make the most of their lives, to develop to the utmost their God-given powers and capacities. But Jesus taught that any ambition that centers on and terminates on oneself is wrong" (Spiritual Leadership).
Self-care for Christians is a means to something greater. It is a tool for maximizing our effectiveness in God's kingdom, not an end in itself. Paradoxical as it sounds, for Christians self-care is driven by the principle of self-sacrifice. That is what transforms it from the category of vice (selfishness) or simple discipline (eat right, exercise, rest) into the spiritual fruit of Christlikeness (Mk. 10:45; 1 Jn. 3:16). Its motivational root is a combination of grace, gratitude (Rom. 12:1), bringing glory to God (1 Pet. 2:12), and two-dimensional love (Matt. 22:37-40).
Resources
In addition to the references in the body of this article, the following resources are also helpful. All the resources listed on this page are available through Next Step Resources, (800) 444-2665.
Walking in the Ways of the Lord: The Ethical Authority of the Old Testament
Christopher J. H. Wright, IVP.
The Great Commandment Principle
David Ferguson, Tyndale.
Effectively shows how motive is at the root of fulfilling the Great Commission, especially the motive of sacrificial love.
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I am come that they may have life, and have it to the full" (John 10:10).
In its setting in John 10, "'life . . . to the full' suggests fat, contented, flourishing sheep . . . life at its scarcely imagined best" (D. A. Carson, The Gospel According to John, p. 385). We are probably well advised against claiming either "too much . . . [or] too little" from this promise, as Richard Hays warns (The Moral Vision of the New Testament, p. 27). That is because, as the apostle Paul is often quick to explain, what we presently experience of our new life in Jesus is only a "deposit . . . [of] what is [yet fully] to come" (2 Cor. 1:22; 5:5; cp. Rom. 8:22-25).
On the other hand, the offer is real - Francis Schaeffer once labeled it "substantial." And through both his common (to all) and special (to believers) grace, God has given us the means to truly "taste" the realities of an abundant life even now. (For an example of using means from the area of "common" grace, see Phil. 4:8; for "special" grace, see 1 Pet. 2:1-3.) For Christians, taking full advantage of all aspects of God's grace in this area is the essence of self-care (cf. 2 Pet. 1:5-9). Three steps are of special importance: having focus, guarding "margin," and maintaining spiritual intimacy with Jesus Christ in our lives.
"Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, by the will of God" (Eph. 1:1).
"The Lord bids each one of us in all life's actions to look to his calling" (Calvin, Institutes, 3:724).
"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the lord's favor" (Luke 4:18-19).
"...think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you" (Rom 12:3).
Self-care begins with a sense of focus: e.g., knowing who we are (e.g., "Paul"), whose we are ("of Christ"), and having a clear sense of life direction ("an apostle" - cf. Eph. 1:1). In a classic passage, theologian John Calvin memorably describes the value of focus like this: "For he [God] knows with what great recklessness human nature flames, with what fickleness it is borne hither and thither, how its ambition longs to embrace various things at once. Therefore, lest through our . . . rashness everything be turned topsy-turvy, he has appointed duties for every man in his particular way of life" (Institutes, 3:724). The importance of focus, as Calvin and others have long recognized, is that without it, "there will be no harmony among the several parts of . . . [a person's] life" (Institutes, 3:725).
From a New Testament perspective, results of a lack of focus include:
- Our lives fail to trumpet a clear sound that others can follow (1 Cor. 14:8).
- We tend to run aimlessly, to beat the air (1 Cor. 9:26).
- We find it difficult to say no to the pressures and expectations placed on us by others (2 Cor. 1:17-18).
- We see ourselves as victims and reactors rather than as "God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works" (Eph. 2:10).
- We don't get anywhere (Phil. 3:13-14).
- We fall victim to discouragement, depression, temptation, and sin (Heb. 12:2-4).
- We face the prospect of being faithless stewards of God's grace (2 Pet. 4:10).
Jesus himself provided the supreme example of a life focused. When he burst on the scene, he not only knew who he was but what he was called to do. His message at Nazareth (Lk. 4:14-21) underscores this; the "I am" declarations in John (6:35; 8:12; 10:7, 11; 11:25; 14:6; 15:1; etc.) and "mission" statements spread throughout the Gospels (e.g., Matt. 5:17; 20:28; Mk.1:38; 2:17; 10:45; Lk. 4:21; 5:32; 7:34; 12:49, 51; 18:8; 19:10) confirm it.
In The Master Plan of Evangelism, Robert Coleman accurately summarized the pattern of Jesus' life: "He lived according to . . . [God's] plan in the present. There was nothing haphazard about his life - no wasted energy nor an idle word. He was on business for God (Luke 2:40)."
Finding focus in life isn't necessarily easy or automatic. If the Lord's earthly life is any example, there was a nearly 10 to 1 ratio between preparing for and engaging in focused ministry (30 years preparing vs. 3 years in ministry). Comparing the Christian life to a long-distance race, J. I. Packer candidly notes, "This sustained . . . effort, raised to the limit of what you can do with the brains, gifts and energy God has given you, is one central aspect of Christian holiness" (Rediscovering Holiness, p. 243). In other words, the struggle - in our context, to gain focus - is a necessary part of the process.
If focus doesn't come easily, however, there are some tried and true guidelines to help us in this critical area. In Leading Edge (p. 47), church leadership specialist Robert Dale suggests the following:
- Work constantly at self-definition.
- Retreat, as needed, to sharpen your sense of direction.
- Update your personal mission statement at the beginning of every year.
- Simplify your life by reducing distractions and demands, where possible.
- Surround yourself with friends who will tell you the truth about your blind spots, liabilities, and weaknesses.
- Participate in a spiritual gift discovery process.
- Research your family history in order to understand you own roots and traditions more completely.
- Learn to say no to fragmenting opportunities and temptations.
- Explore your sense of calling and vocation.
- When you're affirmed, ask, "What do others see as strengths in me?"
In Leading and Managing Your Church, Carl George and Robert Logan offer these additional recommendations:
- Focus your efforts according to your gifts. "Since God has gifted you to perform certain ministry functions well, you have the responsibility to focus your time and efforts in accordance with those gifts" (p. 30).
- Work with trusted others who know you to get agreement concerning your main area of concentration.
- If you are a ministry leader, build a team to complement your giftedness. "No one is strong in every area of life. Find those people . . . whom God has equipped to minister effectively in your weak areas, and develop them. . . . Where you are weak, others are strong. That's God's economy" (p. 32).
- Use ministry assistants. "We certainly need to design the work so that gifted others can do what we are ill-equipped to do. But what about our strong areas? Here we utilize ministry assistants, people who have gifts similar to ours and can help us become more effective in what we already do well, saving us time" (p. 33).
The only thing we should possibly add to these two lists of recommendations is that in the end, like everything else in the Christian life, focus is a work of faith-filled "sober" judgment (Rom. 12:3).
Resources
Generation to Generation
Edwin H. Friedman, Guilford.
Friedman, an ordained rabbi and practicing family therapist, provides keen insights on focus, especially in his concept of a "differentiated" self.
A Work of Heart
Reggie McNeal, Jossey-Bass.
The questions in each chapter - they are summarized in the last chapter of the book - are especially helpful for gaining focus.
Also, be sure to check out the resources under the topic "Lead Courageously" on this Web site, which can be found here.
"There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters into God's rest . . . Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest" (Heb. 4:9-11).
For many in our culture, Richard A. Swenson's book, Margin, "named the beast." They knew such a problem existed. But they didn't know exactly what to call it. Swenson did; he named it "margin." "Margin," Swenson said, "is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed . . . the gap between rest and exhaustion" (p. 92). "Reserves" is the helpful synonym he suggests in the subtitle to his book. The problem, Swenson explained, is that increasingly all of us are caught up in an ongoing state of "marginless" overload.
In a survey, EFCA church leaders described margin like this:
- The amount of emotional space I need to stay healthy in all areas of my life.
- Allowing enough of my time to be unscheduled for spontaneity and sensitivity to events God may bring into my life.
- Having full tanks for family and ministry.
- Having the time and priorities to do the most important things in a way and at a pace that they have optimum impact on my life and I have optimum impact on them.
- A state of thought and heart that allows me to enjoy the people of each moment and the reality of God's presence in it.
- Headroom - the ability to take on "extra" without "going under" (exceeding limits).
- Having enough time to be rested, alert, joyous, and available for unscheduled events.
- The space I need to keep my life balanced.
Swenson believes there is an epidemic of pastoral exhaustion and burnout today, and the way culture is evolving, this problem will only continue to increase. In his book, he identified four key areas where margin is especially needed: emotional, physical, financial, and time. Other areas that EFCA church leaders identified include:
- Sermon preparation. I feel like I am always preparing right up to the last minute.
- Spiritual intimacy.
- Relationships. Because they can't be rushed and always "scheduled" in.
- Personal development. I need to read more to stay fresh and current.
- Prayer. It's more than a time issue. I can see it as clearly as anything when I'm squeezing on this one.
- My creative gifts are stymied due to the demands of daily responsibilities.
One area that neither Swenson nor the church leaders cited above dwell on, surprisingly, is technology. It is true: answering machines, cell phones, pagers, email, and the like, have increased our "communicate ability" and made us more accessible. Yet increased accessibility has come at a price. More people can now reach us more quickly, and each of these people expects our full attention to their issues. What often fuels this "need to be reached" is that in our culture, it is easy to feel important because of increased accessibility. One of the down sides, unfortunately, is a marginless life.
Margin, and the workbook that accompanies it (see under Resources below), gives dozens of "prescriptions" concerned with how to restore balance in many key areas of our lives. Swenson also recognizes the importance of attending to additional areas of personal health, such as contentment, simplicity, balance, relationships, and rest.
Though it is not mentioned in his book, Swenson also feels that developing organizational or institutional change to facilitate margin is an important step. He believes that pastors, church, and denominational leaders need more help and more permission than they tend to give themselves, or that individual churches can be depended upon to give them.
Resources
First Things First
Stephen R. Covey.
Covey doesn't use the term margin but he helpfully gets at the same essential point.
Margin
Richard A. Swenson.
Swenson's other two books are also helpful: The Overload Syndrome: Learning to Live Within Your Limits and Restoring Margin to Overloaded Lives.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).
"Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Heb. 12:3).
In Understanding Leadership, Tom Marshall has cautiously warned that "relaxation methods, time management skills, prioritizing of tasks and other behavioural [sic] technologies that are often taught as ways of enabling people to handle stress are not without their value. But the reality is that they probably do little more than raise our stress threshold. Manifestly something more is needed" (Sovereign World, pp. 115-16). Richard Swenson would agree. So would the EFCA pastors and church leaders questioned in the survey.
A conclusion that was overwhelmingly common to all survey respondents was the need to develop the area of spirituality. Pastors, especially, view spirituality as a necessary response to deal with the lack of margin. Intimacy with the Lord, time to be still and listen, and prayerful dependence all help survey respondents regain perspective and recalibrate their use of time, emotions, physical fitness, and finance. Swenson's books are not written for the narrow Christian audience alone. But he would agree that if a pastor or church leader does not have enough space in his or her life for meditation, prayer and reflection, nurtured personal relationships, and the ability to be interrupted for the purposes of God, then that person is marginless.
As in the area of focus, the best model of a "margined" life - one that balances the spiritual, emotional, physical and other dimensions of earthly existence, in time - not surprisingly is Christ. Consider these examples, for instance, all related primarily to Jesus' disciplined habit of making time to be alone with his Father.
- According to Luke 5:15, Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed - in the midst of hectic ministry demands.
- We see him doing this as early in his ministry as Mark 1. That chapter describes what is perhaps the most pressure-packed schedule in Jesus' public ministry other than the week of his passion. Jesus was involved in teaching, casting out demons, healing the sick, and ministering to multitudes of people. Yet according to Mark 1:35, Jesus got up very early in the morning and went off to a solitary place where he prayed.
- We see him doing this again in Matthew 14:22. Immediately after the feeding the 5,000, Jesus went up on a mountainside by himself to pray.
- In Matthew 15:21, Jesus withdraws again - this time with his disciples - from Galilee to the region of Tyre and Sidon.
- John 12 records Jesus' triumphal entry and the prediction of his impending death. What is important to notice, however, is that when Jesus finished telling the disciples what was about to happen, he "left and hid himself from them" (36b).
Clearly Christ understood that to function effectively in the press of ministry, he must spend time alone to renew margin and regain perspective by communicating with his Father. From this we can draw an unfailing principle: You cannot minister effectively to the multitude over the long haul unless you are spending significant time with God in solitude.
Christ did not just provide us with a model of margin, however. He also gave us his personal prescription for finding and maintaining it. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus invites the "weary" (the word is a participle and suggests weariness from heavy struggling or toil) and the "burdened" (overloaded like beasts of burden), to "come," "take," and "learn."
First, Jesus challenges anyone ("all of you"; a reference primarily to nonbelievers, perhaps, but the promise has application throughout the Christian life) who is weary and burdened to "come to me" (the expression depicts intimacy, relationship, and focused trust). To those who do come, Jesus promises "rest." There is probably an echo of Jeremiah 31:25 ("I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint") in this promise Like that verse, the rest, refreshment, or satisfaction here is extended in grace. Jesus does not demand, like everything else in life. He invites. He does not force us to come. But when we do come, we find rest at his feet.
Second, Jesus invites us to "take my yoke" upon us. The word picture is of two animals that are yoked together to work the fields. In biblical times, a larger, more mature animal was often yoked with a weaker or younger animal to show it how to pull the load. Jesus invites us to yoke up with him, to let him give us his strength. It becomes our choice to enter the partnership with Christ.
Jesus' final challenge is to "learn from me." The preceding verse (11:27) indicates that this means, "learn from the revelation that I alone impart" (D. A. Carson, Matthew 1-12, p. 278). But contrary to Carson, it seems also to mean, "imitate me," which is also indicated by the context: According to 11:29, Jesus' gentleness and humility will bring rest for our souls, as he imparts his life and we follow his pattern. In the previous word picture, the stronger, more mature beast of burden was able to lead and give direction in the work of the field. Here, Jesus says that he not only will partner with us, and give us strength, but also that he will disciple us, providing personal mentoring and direction. Resources
Check out the resources under the topic "Prayerful Dependence" on this Web site, which can be found here.
Intimacy With the Almighty
Charles Swindoll, Nelson.
Charles Swindoll outlines four decisions, accompanied by four disciplines that can lead us into a deeper, more intimate relationship with the Almighty and contribute to peace in the middle of the "tyranny of the urgent."
Satisfy Your Soul
Bruce Demarest, NavPress.
Demarest steers a clear course for "fellow questors" seeking greater intimacy with God.
Spiritual Depression
D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Eerdmans.
A spiritual classic.
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?" (Gal. 5:7).
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith" (2 Tim. 4:7).
"Jesus said, 'It is finished'" (John 19:30).
In a recent interview, Robert Clinton, author of The Making of a Leader, remarked that "few leaders finish well," then went on to identify the following obstacles to a good finish:
- Pride. "There is a proper pride in recognizing who you are and operating out of what God's done for you, but there is also the danger of an inordinate pride, pridefulness."
- Abuse of power. "It happens when leaders operate unjustly or unfairly with people or because of their position and they start taking privileges or they influence people wrongly."
- Lack of integrity with finances.
- Family issues: "all the way from divorce to dysfunctional relationships."
- Sexual issues. "I'm not talking about simply adulterous affairs. I'm talking pornography and other sexually related issues."
- Plateauing. "Some plateauing is good. If you've been through something intense, it allows you to take a step back. But over the long haul, you've got to move on and off the plateau."
Leith Anderson, in Leadership That Works, is equally frank. "The measure of success," he states, "is not the start or the middle of the race. It is the end" (p. 202). Going a step further than Clinton, however, Anderson offers the following "lessons and principles" aimed at achieving "the glorious result of finishing well."
1. Make clocks
"In a culture that seeks a quick fix to problems and a fast return on investment, building for the long term is often the road less taken. However, most contributions that make great differences and outlast the leader take a lifetime" (p. 204).
2. Remember tomorrow
"The leader should always have dreams he cannot complete and visions that will last far beyond his tenure" (p. 205).
3. Invest in others
"It seems too sad for words to come to the end of leadership and have no successors. It is too happy for words to watch sons and daughters, protégés and protégées continue on" (p. 206).
4. Trust in tragedy
Anderson describes this as "the conviction that God can be trusted no matter what happens. It is the kind of trust that enables Christian leaders to finish well" (p. 207).
5. Don't do anything stupid
"The temptation comes in different forms for different leaders, but the top three have always been money, sex, and power. Do whatever you need to do to avoid stupidity in these and other areas of weakness . . . But don't do anything stupid" (p. 208).
6. Know when to quit
"Christian leaders, most of all, must be careful that they don't stay in leadership so long that they damage their followers and dishonor their Lord" (p. 210).
Perhaps the only thing that needs to be added to Anderson's comments is that finishing well isn't just a matter for Christian leaders. It applies to anyone who is a follower of Christ.
Resources
Connecting
Paul D. Stanley and J. Robert Clinton, NavPress.
Contains some excellent material on finishing well.
A Resilient Life
Gordon MacDonald, Nelson.
Many career-oriented individuals, including church leaders, reach a plateau in life where they realize there's more to life and happiness than success, and power. This book is a guide for anyone who wants to get off that treadmill but isn't sure how.
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