Conquering the Mountain
Nui Ba Din is a mountain in Vietnam. During the Vietnam War, this mountain was geographically strategic because the U.S. Army could communicate in a clear 100-mile radius from its summit.
As a first lieutenant and helicopter pilot with the Army’s 159th Medical Detachment in the war, Kevin Boyle said one-third of his 350 missions were to Nui Ba Din.
Kevin carried his faith with him into the war. He believed God was good and that he took care of people. During the war, however, Kevin said he came to wonder if God existed. “At a time when I had more fear than I could handle, I felt like he wasn’t there.”
In the turmoil of war, he had to suppress his fear, and began suppressing other emotions, including joy. Kevin said he developed emotional numbness.
Back in America, Kevin suffered from nightmares and intrusive thoughts. “I was always looking over my shoulder,” Kevin said, “It was very difficult to be present, to be a husband, to be a father, to have what I think would be a normal family life.”
In 1980, Kevin went to the University of Colorado at Boulder and earned a master’s degree in clinical psychology. From 1989 to 1998, Kevin counseled war veterans. “All through that time, there was a re-examination going on,” he said, “I really came to see a lot about the idea that men cause wars, not God.”
Kevin and Les Schlect met at Blue Sky Church where they both attend, and Kevin began opening up to Les about his experience in Vietnam. When Les decided to join a Christian missions team going to Vietnam, he felt compelled to invite Kevin. “He needed to go back to that mountain and realize that it was at peace.”
Last October, Kevin returned to Nui Ba Din with 35 years’ worth of nightmares and fear. “Since that mission trip, the incidences of nightmares, intrusive thoughts—it’s not completely gone, but it’s not as intense as it used to be,” Kevin said. “It gives me more space to experience the things going on around me. To me, that’s a huge gift from God.”